More About Me
There won't any personal web site. It does not fit in my budget. So I will include whatever information I planned for that web site onto this page.
I am 5'9" tall. I weigh about 165 pounds. I have blue eyes. My hair is balding or baldish. I color what I have left a dark blond or light brown color. I have trouble seeing distant objects. I sometimes wear eyeglasses for distance viewing. I sometimes wear a hearing aid in my right ear.
May 11, 2015 Monday
My voice is not too loud. It is somewhat nasal. I've had two operations on my palate. The first one was when I was two years old when I had trouble swallowing my food. The second one in 2005 was more cosmetic than medical. I wanted to reduce the nasality in my voice. The operation was not effective in doing this. I was told by my ear-throat-nose doctor that the space between my palate and throat is large and needs to be filled in to help reduce the nasality. I did not undergo this operation.
I am not aware of the nasality of my voice when I am speaking. When I am speaking, to my ears, I sound like everybody else. I found out how bad I sound when I was 7 or 8 years old in second grade. My mother transferred me to a public school where I attended a speech therapy class. In that class, I heard my voice on a tape recorder. The speech therapy class was of no help. In fact, my mother said I sounded worse. I went back to my other school at Holy Name of Jesus. In the eighth grade, the class was given a project in history. We were to pair up and put on a short play. My friend Michael Kowalski and I paired up. He did most of the talking. He had me "sleeping." Then he "woke" me up. And my one line was, "Oh, yes. I agree." And he kept talking while I pretended to do some writing. In another project, the teacher tape recorded the compositions we wrote and read to the class. I thought some of the kids had bad voices, but after hearing everyone's voices played back on the tape including my own, in my opinion, mine was the worst. In 9th grade, I was in a Lain class. The teacher put on a play, Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare. I tried out a few lines for the teacher. He asked me if there was anyway I could get my mouth filled in somehow. I was given the role of the Roman senator Cina. Cina has three lines in the play. One line was taken away from me. My two lines were, "Casca, you will be the first to raise his hand against Caesar. We will follow," and "Oh, Caesar!" We put on two plays in the auditorium, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, so that every class in the school saw our play. In the first play, when I said my lines, a lot of people laughed. In the second play, I spoke my lines louder, and only half as many people laughed. The next day, one guy told me I sounded like I had marbles in my mouth.
As an adult, searching the job market, I was careful to avoid those clerical jobs that involved phone work because I knew I had a lousy voice. One time, job opportunities were so scarce that I applied for a customer service rep job. Then I received a call from the company for an interview. After 5 seconds of listening to me, the lady hung up on me.
Not only is my voice nasal, but sometimes I am mistaken for a woman. A lot of times, these sales people would call me on the phone and would call me "ma'am." When I was giving my presentation at the 2000 New Hampshire primary in Concord, I was so nervous and tense. that my voice became really high pitched as I talked about partial birth abortion and the colonization of Mars. In the 2008 New Hampshire primary, I was still a little nervous when I gave my presentation in Nashua. But my voice didn't take off like it did eight years ago, and I spoke about the dangers our country faces in my normal voice.
I tried improving my voice by attending two classes at Erie Community College in Amherst, NY. One was Public Speaking and the other was Drama I. In the Public Speaking class, when giving their comments, each of the students were careful not to criticize the speaker for fear they would be criticized in return. In the Drama I class, the students gave their comments in writing rather than verbally. Two of the criticisms I received was that I did not speak loud enough, and that I did not make eye contact with some of them.
Another problem I have, unlike Mr. 44th President, is pronouncing my esses. Which leads me to my next topic, which is:
When I was five years old, I was hit by a car. I was coming from the corner store and was crossing the street when I was hit by a car. I was out like a light for two weeks. When I woke up, I had no idea what happened. My parents told me I was hit by a car. My front teeth were all bashed out. Those were my baby teeth, so that shouldn't have been a big deal. But I had these anti-love ideas in my head. I thought kissing was stupid, so I sucked my lips in. I didn't want lips like Ricky Nelson. I also like sucking my cheeks into my mouth. Also, on the one side of my mouth, food would taste better, so I would eat most of my food on the right side. As a skinny boy, I was developing a large adams apple, which I didn't like. But I did the wrong thing--I was pulling in my chin when I should have been sticking it out. All those bad oral habits brought me a set of braces for my teeth starting when I was 9 years old. Because my mouth was small, I had to have six teeth pulled out before I could be fitted with braces. Four of those teeth were my baby teeth, but two teeth were my second teeth. I hated those braces. They were ugly. And they hurt. The orthodontist made them sharp so that they would cut the inside of my mouth and cause bleeding. This was so that I wouldn't suck my cheeks into my mouth. State funding for my braces ran out when I was 16. The orthodontist was going to leave the braces on, but I wanted them off. So he took them off. About a week later, my one front tooth started folding over my other front tooth. I still had no bit on my back teeth. They were starting to recede under my gums. One of my wisdom teeth receded on its side. I went to a dentist when I had an infection in my left back lower tooth. The dentist wanted me to go to an oral surgeon and have all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out. I never had that done. I used vitamin c to get rid of my infection. As I said, I have trouble pronouncing my esses. I have to pulled my lower jaw forward so that my front lower and upper teeth meet to make the ess sound. My teeth are really ugly, so I keep my mouth shut and try hard not to show my teeth. They've always been a yellowish color or a dull white color. Now they are wearing out and some of them look brown.
I use to have a bad habit of biting my lips. I was doing this in high school and up until recently. Some of my high school pictures show where I tore the skin off my lip. My lips were dry most of the time. I would sometimes use lip balm or vasoline. It was a vicious cycle. My lips were dry; I would bite them; they would start healing; they felt dry and cracked; so I would start biting them again. I don’t seem to have that problem anymore. It might be because I had to change my diet.
March 17, 2016 Thursday. I was scheduled to have an oral surgeon take out three teeth last November at Erie County Medical Center. The three teeth are the lower left wisdom tooth, the lower right wisdom tooth and the molar next to the lower right wisdom tooth. I was suppose to be covered under some kind of hospital plan, but a few days before the surgery, I received a call from ECMC saying I wasn’t going to be covered by the hospital plan, and that I need to pay over $700 for the procedure. I canceled my appointment. In the meantime, I was able to control the infection in my left wisdom tooth so that it no longer caught the attention of my dentist. But I did have to have the right wisdom tooth and the molar next to it pulled out. I was able to have this done at University Pediatric Dentistry in downtown Buffalo this morning under Medicare. So now I have six teeth missing, or, only 26 teeth remaining.
Once I graduated from Holy Name, I went to Genesee-Humboldt Junior High School (Number 91) for my 9th grade; and then I went to Kensington High School for my sophomore, junior and senior years. I went to speech therapy classes in School 91 and in my sophomore year at Kensington. In Kensington, my speech teacher once asked me if I ever wanted to break out of my quiet state, to let it out and just explode. I don’t remember what I told her, but I do let it out sometimes by impersonating other people. This might also sometimes be called mocking other people. I really shouldn’t mock other people because I don’t like to be mocked; there’s a God up above, and He will judge us if we mock another person. We are all sons and daughters of Noah, and so we shouldn’t mock each other. I don’t do voice impersonations too much anymore because I live in a quiet neighborhood and can’t make too much noise. So I’m out of practice.
Some the voices I like to do, or use to do, are Elvis Presley, John Wayne, ALF, Chubby Checker, little Stevie Wonder, Van Morrison of The Doors, and Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys. I mentioned that I am mistaken many times for a woman when I’m on the phone. I like to do women’s voices and girls' voices. I can do an old gramma’s voice.
More About My Voice
One other interesting thing when I was in that speech therapy class at Kensington is the time when I read or recited one sentence. In the middle of that sentence, I said one word differently. The face of the classmate guy who was there with me lit up when I said that one word. Then he became indifferent when I finished the rest of the sentence. My speech therapy teacher told me about that one word and how I spoke it clearly and correctly. Unfortunately, I don't remember the sentence or the word. So, anyway, there may be a way for me to correct my speech without undergoing more surgery.
RIGHT SHOULDER BIRTH DEFECT
When I was a boy, I realized that I was left handed when I threw a baseball while most boys were right handed. It was hard to throw with my right arm, so that‘s why I was left handed. I thought that was the why most boys are right handed, because it’s just as hard for them to throw with their left hand as it is hard for me to throw with my right hand. But that wasn’t the whole answer. There was something wrong with my right shoulder and right arm. The humerus bone was not in the proper position; and the bone was shorter, about 3 inches shorter than the left humerus. My father took me to a bone specialist who said he could operate on it to put the bone in the proper place, but he would have to cut through some muscles and then tie the bone to my shoulder which would result in limited mobility. Plus, he said, the arm would look shorter than it already does now. He said I am okay now, but in the future it will give me problems. It will start hurting. And so at that time, I will need an operation.
The shoulder and arm problem didn’t bother me in my 20s and 30s. I was doing some weight lifting. I even did some extra exercises to build up my right shoulder to make my problem less noticeable. I could do presses. I use to press up to 120 pounds when I was still 35 years old. But my lower back started to give out. Now, at the age of 66, I am lucky to press 30 pounds over my head after working my way up from 5 pounds. A few years ago, I went to see another bone specialist. He refused to do any surgery on it because he said he might sever an artery in the process and kill me. So, even though 40 years have passed since I saw the first bone specialist, medical science has not come up with a better solution. In fact, it seems it has gone backwards. Fortunately, my right shoulder has not given me the problem which the first bone specialist predicted would happen, except for the lower back problem which I mentioned.
Sometimes, some bold guy will notice the difference between my left shoulder and my right shoulder, and he will put his hand on my right shoulder to feel how weird it is. I don’t like that. Sometimes, in response, I will extend my arm laterally to bring whatever muscles I have there into position so that it does not look or feel different.
Keep your hands off of my right shoulder, bold people.
I like to go out in the sun when it’s warm and try to get a nice tan. I envy guys, especially blue-eyed guys, who have really dark tans. One blue-eyed neighbor of mine Mark is really dark. He says he uses baby oil on his skin to keep the moisture in. I don't use anything except a little baby oil around my eyes. I burn easily, but I time myself. I spend 10 minutes on my front, then 10 minutes on my side, then 10 minutes on my back, and then 10 minutes on my other side. Not only do I sun bathe myself for the looks, but sunbathing is suppose to be healthy for you, too. Sunshine provides us with the vitamin d we need to help our immune system ward off sickness and disease.
This year, I am now a little wary about going under the sun. There is this small sore on the left side of my forehead which refuses to heal. Sometimes, there’s a scab on it. Sometimes, there’s a little blood on my bed where I lay my head while I sleep. My apartment is located in a rural area where there are deer, skunks, and supposedly even bears roaming around. There are also many insects and spiders. I thought maybe I was being bitten by a spider, and, being bitten in the same part of my head while I was sleeping at night. These “bites” have been plaguing me for a year or two or maybe longer. This year, it dawned on me--this is a sore that refuses to heal. A sore that refuses to heal is cancer. So I started taking capsules of graviola that I had on hand which is suppose to cure cancer. It comes from the graviola plant that's grown in South America. It tastes like asparagus. And it's suppose to be 1000 times more effective than chemotherapy. Unlike chemotherapy, it attacks only cancer cells. When I ran out it, I ordered some more. And it was working for a while. The sore was getting smaller and smaller, and the skin on the surface of the sore was drying up and pealing away, which meant that it was healing. But it got to a point where it no longer was getting smaller. It stopped healing. And then it started bleeding again. I told my primary physician about it. He referred me to a cosmetologist who took a sample of the sore and sent it to Roswell Cancer Research Center. The results were affirmative. It is a skin cancer sore. I am scheduled for surgery in July to have it removed. In the meantime, I am trying out another anti-cancer remedy to see if that works. It's a small tube of white cream that has acid in it. The acid stings for a few minutes as it helps the medication penetrate to the cancer problem. According to the literature that came with it, it's suppose to heal the skin after 12 weeks of usage. I started on May 26th; so the last day of application would be August 15. Right now, the problem area looks bad with raw skin a little over one half inch in diameter. I have to reapply the medication and cover it with a new band aid every twelve hours.
September 9, 2015 Wednesday. I have two videos for comparison. These are my first two videos. The second video shows deeper lines in my face, which is why I try not to yawn. The second one shows the struggle I had reading and speaking at the same time. The first video shows my more natural talking voice.
The home remedy did not work. The sore seemed to be getting bigger rather than smaller. I stopped applying the cream after the 12-week period. The sore was healing. There's was a scab on the sore which fell off after a few days. And the old skin was flaking and peeling off. I felt that the home remedy had done its job after all. I went to my appointment at the Buffalo Medical Center on Wednesday, Sept. the 2nd, and I argued with the doctor that the skin cancer was gone. He kept saying no, that the cancer was still there. So I had the surgery done. I think he used a laser because there was an odor of burnt skin. Stitches were sewn to close up the wound. They were removed today.
November 10, 2015 Tuesday. Today I went to my appointment at the Cosmetic Vein & Laser Center in Williamsville NY as follow up to my surgery. I was told I have a black mole on my back. I am to come in for another appointment a year from now.
November 17, 2016 Thursday. I went to my appointment and was found to have a cancerous sore on the right side of my chest. I am to stay out of the sun from now on. I need to apply sun screen whenever I go outside to protect my skin from the sun.
November 29. I went in to Cosmetic Vein & Laser Center to have the cancerous sore removed. I have an appointment to come in a year from now.
TWO HEART ATTACKS
My father died when he was 59 years old in 1977. (My mother died nine days before her 94th birthday in 2008.) He was a smoker. He could not give it up. He even said that the damage was done, and so there was no reason to give up smoking. Not only that, he led a sedentary life. In the last year of his life, he was mostly in bed sleeping for 20 hours a day. He would get up, go to the bathroom, have something to eat, watch a little TV, and then go back to bed and sleep for another 20 hours.
In contrast, I tried to stay healthy and fit. I would take long walks, bike rides, and jogs each day. I would do weight lifting. I would do pushups. And, as I said before, I would lay out in the sun and soak up all that vitamin d. I never smoked. The trouble was my diet. I tried to eat a healthy diet which included drinking skim milk, but I would fall back to eating sweets, and candy, and donuts, and cookies, and cakes, and ice cream.
One day, in August of 2008, I had a heart attack. I don’t remember what I was doing that day before I had a heart attack. My neighbor Mark said I took a bike ride. I was inside the apartment when I felt a lot of pain in my heart. I went out to Mark and he took me to the hospital (St. Joseph‘s). The doctors all gathered around me, from what I was told. They couldn’t figure out what was killing me. I was told later that my heart stopped and that I was resuscitated. I was then transferred to a heart hospital (Buffalo Mercy). I slowly recovered without surgery and after a few weeks, I was sent home. I was placed on at least nine medications.
I want to thank the doctors and staff at St. Joseph's Hospital for bringing me back to life.
In April 2010, I was slipping back to a dangerous diet. I was eating ice cream everyday. While I was doing my walking and jogging exercises, I noticed that I was getting tired very quickly. My left arm and my chest felt numb. So I called up my primary physician and told the nurse what my symptoms were. She told me to check into a hospital right away. So I went back to St. Joseph’s. They told me I had blocked arteries. One of them was 100% blocked; another was 94% blocked; and another was 54% blocked. Something like that. Maybe only two arteries were blocked. I had to have open heart surgery to have the blockage removed or bypassed. The pain was terrible after I got out of surgery. I remember telling a friend that I would never want to go through this again. One time, I went to a restaurant with another friend for dinner. When I opened the door, it was like my chest was tearing a part. Since that time, I have been very careful about what I eat, or rather, what I don’t eat. I still eat candy, but it’s only dark chocolate candy. I might have a donut once a week. I might have a piece of cake once a month. I drink green tea instead of skim milk. My primary physician told me to stay away from pizza because it has too much oil. He told me to eat oat meal cereal. That’s what I have for breakfast with a banana. Instead of sugar, I use sugar in the raw. I drink sugarless juices like Juicy Juice and apple juice. I try eating raw vegetables and fruits. My cardiologist says I’m improving. My primary physician says I’m improving. So now, I am only taking three prescription drugs instead of nine.
October 29, 2015 Thursday. Today I went to my appointment at the Buffalo Cardiology and Pulmonary Associates in Williamsville NY. My doctor said I have a low heart ejection fraction. My next appointment is in April.
I still watch my diet but I cheat a lot. I have a McDonald's meal once while with chocolate milk shake and French fries. I sometimes buy a chocolate ice cream cone at the mall. Lately I have been doing errands for my neighbors and have been seen buying some pork products. I eat the pepperoni off of the pizzas, but that's about it. I haven't been eating any pork products other than pepperoni from the pizzas.
I haven't been doing too many pushups lately because I hurt my left wrist, and it hurts more after I do pushups. I have been doing some slant pushups which are pushups that I do on the stairway.
Exercising - I use to do 65 pushups when I was in high school. When I was 35, I could only do 22. A few years ago, I was doing 12 pushups. Today, I am only doing 8 pushups, two sets, about 6 times a week.
I use to press 120 pounds when I was 35 years old. I could do 80 pounds back in 1992 when I was 43 years old. Today, I have to start with broom stick and collars that weight 5 pounds. I do one set and two reps. Then I keep adding 2 1/2 lbs. until I lift 30 or maybe 40 pounds over my head. I do this once a week.
Correction: I am having problems with my right shoulder. I can't press much more that 20 pounds right now. There's too much soreness.
I don't remember what my maximum lift was for bench presses was when I was in my 20s and 30s. I use to work out with 80 pounds when I was 43. Today, I work out with 45 pounds. I do three sets. Right now I'm doing 8 reps. I add 5 pounds to the right side of the barbell because of my right shoulder and shorter right arm. I do this once a week.
I try to walk or walk and jog at least 30 minutes every day. When I jog, I count with my right foot every time it hits the ground until I count 220 steps. Then I walk until I come to a certain lamp post in my backyard. I usually do four laps.
I start with a 20 pounds for squats. I do 4 reps, 1 set. I add 5 pounds for each set until I lift 60 pounds.
I also do two lateral exercises with 3 lbs. and 5 lbs., 20 reps, 1 set. And I do toe stands with 20 pounds, 20 reps, 1 set. Once a week.
Once in a while, I take long bicycle rides.
Reading - I like to read self improvement books and articles. I read magazines and articles on current events. I like to read and watch TV shows about our space program. I use to read the Bible everyday. I would read a page from five different sections of the Bible.
Chess - My father taught me how to play chess when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I was able to win most of the games we played when I was a teenager. After he died, I didn't have anyone to play chess with. It was only after Bobby Fischer made chess popular that I started to play chess again. I play mostly on the computer. I have two computer chess games. I am a member of the United States Chess Federation and compete in the local chess tournaments. My current (July 12, 2015) rating is 1382. My rating was above 1400 when I attended a chess tournament at Bishop Timon in Buffalo in October 2015. But now it is down to 1350.
Last weekend, (Saturday, March 19 and Sunday, March 20, 2016) I went to downtown Rochester to play at the Strong Museum of Play in the 38th Marchand Open Chess Tournament. I haven’t been practicing my chess very much in the last two or three months. My rating has fallen to 1293. I won 3 games and lost two in Rochester.
April 1 and 2, 2017 Saturday and Sunday. I to the Marchand Chess Tournament at the Strong Museum of Play. My rating is now only 1215. I lost three games to unrated young men. I won two games from older men who were rated 1025 and 1200.
One guy told me that a chess player can never play any better after he has played for eight years. That’s quite challenge. I told him I would play at least 5 games of chess on the computer everyday and learn some chess traps. I read of an 11-year old girl who is almost a grand master. She plays 10 hours a day. But maybe it's not worth it. I think life is more than playing chess 10 hours everyday.
May 20, 2017 Saturday. I went to the Wolverine Chess Tournament at Niagara Falls High School in Niagara Falls. My rating is down again to 1200. I lost the first two games and won the last two games. The first players was unrated. He was in his thirties. The second player was in his forties or fifties. He was the highest rated player in the tournament. The third player was a young boy about 12 years old. And the last player was about 18 years old.
June 17, 2017 Saturday. The Juneteenth Chess Tournament was held today at the Main Place Mall in downtown Buffalo. I lost all three of my games. The fourth game was a BYE for me. I am so disappointed because I practiced all week on my computer. I feel like giving up, but maybe I will stick with it a little while longer.
July 15, 2017 Saturday. I attended the 2017 Can-Am (Canadian-American) Chess Tournament held at the Main Place Mall in downtown Buffalo. Like last month, it was an Open tournament in which the weaker players and the stronger players played each other until the two strongest players would play for the prize. I lost my first game to one of the best players. I won my second game from a young man. I lost my third game to a middle aged man. And I won my fourth and last game from a young man. Maybe I’ll do better next time.
August 19, 2017 Saturday. I attended the 2017 Pawn Master Chess Tournament at Main Place Mall in downtown Buffalo. This is the continuation or part 2 of 3 of the Can-Am Chess Tournament that started last month. We had our Canadian guests here. My rating is still 1200. I lost the 1st round to a guy who was over 1700. I lost the 2nd round to a guy who was over 1600. I won the 3rd round from a guy who was under 900. And I won the 4th and last round from a guy who was over 1200. The 1st and 4th round were against middle-aged white-haired guys. The 2nd and 3rd round were against younger guys.
July 2, 2016 Saturday - Exercising, Diet and Health Update
I have not been able to keep up my weekly exercise regimen like last year. I seldom do squats. I hardly do any presses. I still do bench presses once a week. I am lifting a slightly lighter barbell. It is 42 pounds. But I am doing more reps; I am doing 13 reps at the present time. I am still doing my daily walking and jogging exercises; but I am doing more walking and less jogging. My diet is not too good. I am falling back on sweets like dark chocolate candy, white cake with white frosting, and an ice cream cone, along with salty foods like popcorn and potato chips, It’s been said that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. However, I have not been eating any apples lately. I drink a lot of apple juice. I don't know if that is really healthy.
I had two teeth pulled on St. Patrick’s Day, March 17th of this year. I tried in vain to find a dentist who could save my teeth. One dentist said I had run out of time; that I must have the teeth pulled because infection had started to set in. So I had the lower right wisdom tooth pulled along with the tooth next to it that it was impacting and creating a large cavity.
In mid April, I came down with a cold (the virus) in which I was unable to throw off quickly. I was down with a coughing cold with no appetite week after week until the end of May.
Last September 29th, I sprained my left wrist while working on the bathroom shower curtain. I was trying to close one of the rings. It was very painful. I had to stop doing most of my exercising including my pushups. As the wrist became less sore, I started doing pushups on the stairway - slant pushups, as I call them. I have been doing, on occasion, 2 sets of slant pushups, 12 reps. I just started doing some regular pushups. I am doing 3 pushups a week.
December 14, 2016 Wednesday, I took a nap on the couch around 10:30 PM. When I woke up, I had to go to the bathroom which is passed by bedroom. I did not turn the light on when I went into my bedroom. As a result, I did not see the slippers that I stepped on. I lost my balance and fell down--hitting my left shin on my dumbbell. From the accident, I received a large swelling at the site of the impact. And since Wednesday, the 21st, my lower leg is discolored and swollen including my foot. This has caused a lot of pain, and I frequently walk with a limp. I went to see my primary physician. They sent me to have the injury scanned. Then they told me I have no broken bones. I am to see my doctor on Tuesday, December 27th. Regardless of what he tells me or does to me, I feel this injury will take two or more months to heal. I’ve had accidents in which I fell off my bicycle. It takes a long time for an injury like that to heal.
December 27, 2016 Tuesday. I went to see my primary physician at Cleveland Hill Medical Group. He said I should have put ice on the bump as soon as possible after the accident. The pharmacist at Tops told me to apply ice to the bump every day for ten minutes. I am taking anti-biotic pills as well as pain killers.
One other problem I am having is my weight. I was weighed at Cleveland Hill Medical Group at 170 pounds last week. This week, I weigh 172 pounds. I told one of the nurses about my concern. She asked me if I am watching my diet and doing any exercising. I said no. She said that’s why I have a problem.
February 16, 2017 Thursday. My injury is slowly healing. I started doing my jogging two days ago. My shin feels slightly sore to the touch; and there is a slight swelling.
May 19, 2017 Friday. April 13, 2017 was my 68th birthday. I am recovering from my injuries. I am able to do half of my jogging exercise. I found that I am still able to do presses with a barbell. I start with a bare 20-pound barbell and work my way up to 30 pounds. I am able to do my pushups, but I only do two sets of two pushups. I do some squats and bench presses, but not every week. I am still struggling with my diet. I am eating too many snacks such as white cake and fudge brownies. I am not eating the foods I should eat such as oatmeal cereal and vegetables. My weight is still up to 170 pounds. I have been staying out of the sun as much as possible, but I don’t like the idea of avoiding exposure to the sun while some of my friends come back from vacation with a nice tan.
June 28, 2017 Wednesday. I have been in poor health with the stomach flu since Sunday. I have not and will not likely to post anything new to my web site until I get better.
July 2, 2017 Sunday. I am feeling a little better. I had severe stomach problems. I thought it was the flu. My doctor told me to take milk of magnesia. I tried other remedies. I tried drinking prune juice. I took vitamin c. I took a little baking soda. And I even fasted for 33 hours. I am convinced that the problem was something spoiled that I ate for dessert.
PREOCCUPATIONS AND OTHER DISTRACTIONS
February 11, 2016 Thursday. Some of the useless activities that take up a lot of my time are playing Klondike solitaire, Free Cell solitaire, and Spider solitaire on my computer. Up until last week, I’ve been spending a lot of time corresponding with what I knew was a Russian bride scam artist. Her name is Assem Syzdykova of Ayagoz, Kazakhstan. She is 28 years old with long brown hair, blue eyes, standing between 5’6” and 5’7” tall. She likes traveling, spear fishing, swimming, skiing, singing, playing the guitar, and knitting. She’s a dentist. She doesn’t have a computer; she had to use the one where she works to correspond with me Monday thru Friday. She has a phone, but she can’t talk to me from way over there. She would send me her photos and I would send her mine. Since I am almost 67 years old, when she saw my photos and told me I was handsome, I knew she was lying. We kept exchanging letters and photos. I wanted to know how the end would turn out. My first scam correspondence was with a woman named Natalya. That was two or three years ago. She ended up saying she was coming to me, but she was stuck in Moscow. She had a one-way airplane ticket, but was told she needed a two-way airplane ticket. She asked me for $600 to help her pay for the two-way airplane ticket. I say no; so the letters stopped. I’ve had about 3 or 4 Russian scams who didn’t correspond with me very long. The previous scammer was named
Liliya Alecseeva of
Desnyansky, Russia 243356
I had hoped to find her address on an Internet map. Instead, I learned that this address was a scam address. I told her what I found out and called her a Russian phony baloney. She didn’t write anymore letters to me.
Then I started getting Assem’s letters. There was one letter she wrote that had two words that rang a bell. Those two words were: "severe boss." I checked the two words with the letters I saved from Liliya. I was amazed. There were more than two words that were similar. Most of the letter Assem wrote to me was exactly what Liliya wrote to me two months earlier even though they supposedly live in two different cities in two different countries. Here are the two letters. I have colored the parts that are almost exactly the same.
November 18, 2015 Wednesday
Hi my Michael! I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure at the
same time! And I am very happy to receive your letter! I am ready to jump and
dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Michael! Thank you for your
letter and your thoughts.
Computers very expensive here. Besides I understand nothing in
computers and I have no even phone in my home. Therefore I never
thought of buying of a computer. I lived all my life without a computer
and never felt need in a computer. Though should admit that now I regret
that I have no opportunity to write to you at any time.
Now concerning plans. I want to arrive to you not for couple of days, I
want to live with you. Really you have not understood that I have fallen in
love with you as the little girl? I would like to marry you. But unfortunately
term of my visa not big, all half a year. I do not want to enter the conflict to
the law. If you want I will remain with you the maximum time. But we should
think of the future. When I will arrive to you we will make an application on
the visa of the bride. We will do many photo and we will convince your
government that we love each other. Then possibly they will ask me to return
back to Russia. But for us it will not be strong test. I will return to Russia.
I will sell property and the house if you wish. Then when I get approval from
your government, I will return back to you. And we will be happy together.
But to begin with we should live together small time. You agree? Maybe I you
not will to arrange and you expel me in a week. Smile. But I think that such will
not be. And we will be happy till last days.
Every day I think - what my friend Michael will tell me today, what
mood he will have today? And as soon as I get free minute, I rush to accounting
department to find out if you have written to me or not. And when I receive
your letter, I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of my
day - time when I read your letter and when I write to you the all my thoughts.
These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes I don't hear
anything and I don't see anything except of lines and paragraphs which in my
mind will be transformed into small movie, movie about you, my dear Michael.
And you cannot imagine at all how it wonderfully! Sometimes I think, what would
be if I have not found the boldness in myself to write you? What would be if I
didn't believe that I can find a man in such a way? I always want to think that
I the courageous woman, but I feel that actually it is not so. I am ready to
give my life for the sake of person who are close and dear for me, I am ready
to donate my well-being for the sake of well-being of other person but when I
think of myself, I often become timid and all my boldness disperses like the
fire's smoke. I am often afraid to make something, to take some step simply
because of fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am often afraid to ask
people about anything simply because of fear to get the negative answer. Not
always, but it happens. What would happen, if you have not answered my first
letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would lie on a way
of my life by infinite impenetrable veil. Do you want to know what I did today?
First off, I should tell that I slept with a smile on my face! At least when I
have woken up and have looked at the mirror, I have noticed that I smile! Then,
I cleaned a teeth and I had smile! Then, I jog and I smiled as if actually I
watched funny movie. Then, I have cooked a breakfast and drank a coffee with a
smile on my face! Then, I have come to clinic, and I could not hide my smile. I
was ready to laugh and I at all had no desire to work! It is a very bad symptom
for the doctor! (Smile). Everything around have seemed to me a beautiful and
wonderful. And even the severe boss, when have seen that I look at him and I
smile, he began to survey himself attentively and even have come near to the
mirror to see if anything wrong! He has thought that something wrong with his
clothes! All the day I work with smile on my face! Irina looks at me and smiles
as well. Of course she understands the reason, and it makes her happy as well!
And when time of sleep will come, I will lie in my bed with the same smile on
my face! And if you till now have not understood why I smile, I will tell you!
I smile because I think of you, Michael! And it brings joy! I am so happy that
I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life! I have
to go. Now I will not have a lot of time after work because after work I will
have one more working day! (Smile). You may ask what I mean? The preparation
for my trip! You cannot imagine at all how many deals I must do for our
meeting! I even have asked the boss to reduce my working day or to allow me to
take some hours off in the middle of day to make some things, because after 5
pm not all departments works! Of course now I should work in the days off to
have more of free time at week-days. But thoughts about our meeting give me
force and energy! I am sure that everything will be perfectly! I will wait your
letter! Please, write me because I need your letters and support more than
ever! Your Liliya!
January 22, 2016 Friday 2:57 AM
Hi my Michael! I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure
at the same time!
And I am very happy to receive your letter! I am ready
to jump and dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Michael!
Thank you for your letter and your thoughts. I am so happy that we can meet.
Now I have the ocean of emotions and I do not know what to say.
I am worried very much. I hope very much that we can perfectly spend
time together. I am only afraid, that if we meet, I will ask so many
questions and chatter unceasingly, that you soon will escape from me.
My vacation will begin approximately in two weeks. At this time I can
arrive to you. But unfortunately the schedule of my vacation is not flexible.
Therefore I hope you will be glad to meet me at this time. If you have not
enough time, I will be happy all the same. I will be happy in any case.
It is better to wait when you will come from work, than to sit in my
apartment and to know that nobody will come!!! Duration of my vacation is
34 workdays. But quantity of days which I can spent with you depends on
when I will get my vacation and when I will order the ticket. However at
desire I can prolong vacation at own expense. But I at all would not want
to leave you :) How many days do you want to be with me? I think preparations
for travel will be about two weeks. Complexity of approval of the papers,
visa will be reduced to a minimum as I will have petitions and characteristics
from a work place, from respected organizations and legal people;
guarantee documents and various sorts of the information and inquiry,
which will be given to commissions I will get the petition and a
testimonial from Ministry of Health of Kazakhstan! Except of that
I will pay for preparation for the commission.
Every day I think - what my friend Michael will tell me today, what mood he
will have today? And as soon as I get a free minute, I rush to analyses's
room to find out if you have written to me or not. And when I receive
your letter, I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of
my day - time when I read your letter and when I write to you the all my
thoughts. These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes
I don't hear anything and I don't see anything except of lines and
paragraphs which in my mind will be transformed into small movies, movies
about you, my dear Michael. And you cannot imagine at all how it's wonderful!
Sometimes I think, what would happen if I have not found the boldness in myself
to write you? What would happen if I didn't believe that I could find a man in
such a way? I always want to think that I'm a courageous woman, but I feel
that actually it is not so. I am ready to give my life for the sake of
person who is close and dear for me, I am ready to donate my well-being
for the sake of well-being of another person but when I think of myself, I
often become timid and all my boldness disperses like the fire's smoke.
I am often afraid to make something, to take some step simply because of
fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am often afraid to ask people
about anything simply because of fear to get the negative answer.
Not always, but it happens. What would happen, if you have not
answered my letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would
lie on a way of my life by infinite impenetrable veil. Do you want to know
what I did today? Firstly, I should tell you that I slept with a smile on my face!
At least when I woke up and looked at the mirror, I noticed
that I was smiling! Then, I cleaned teeth and I had a smile! Then, I jog and I
smiled as if actually I watched funny movie. Then, I cooked
breakfast and drank a coffee with a smile on my face! Then, I came to
clinic, and I could not hide my smile. I was ready to laugh and I at all
had no desire to work! It is a very bad symptom for the pharmacist! :)
Everything around seemed me beautiful and wonderful. And even the
severe boss, when saw that I look at him and I smiled, he began to
survey himself attentively and even came near to the mirror to see if
anything wrong! He thought that something was wrong with his clothes! All
the day I worked with the smile on my face! Amanda looks at me and smiles as well.
Of course she understands the reason, and it makes her happy as well! And
when time of sleep comes, I will lie in my bed with the same smile on
my face! And if you till now have not understood why I smile, I will tell you!
I smile because I think of you, Michael! And it brings me joy! I am so happy
that I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life!
I have to go. Now I will not have a lot of time after work because after
work I will have one more working day!:) You may ask what I mean?
The preparation for my trip! You cannot imagine at all how many deals I
must do for our meeting! I even have asked the boss to reduce my working
day or to allow me to take some hours off in the middle of day to make some
things, because after 5pm not all departments work! Of course now I should
work in the days off to have more of free time on week-days. But thoughts
about our meeting give me force and energy! I am sure that everything will
be perfect! I will wait for your letter! Please, write me because I need your
letters and support more than ever!
With Love and Kisses!
Always your Assem!
I have been trying to find other evidence that Assem is a scam. I tried looking for her photos among the known scammers. I’ve tried matching her name with known scammers. I tried matching some of the lines of her letters to see if I can prove her to be a scam, but I came up empty.
Here are some more pictures of her:
The story comes to an end after her apartment was burglarized. Her valued historical icons were all stolen. In spite of this, she proceeds with her plans to visit me. She takes a train to Astana, the capital, where she will take a plane to Moscow, then to NYC, and then here to Buffalo. I told her about the problem some Russian women have when they try to visit America--they need a two-way airplane ticket, but they only have a one-way ticket. And that’s what happened to Assem Syzdykova because she’s nothing but a Russian scam. She only had a one-way ticket and she needed my help to buy a two-way ticket. She wanted me to send her $493. I told her I wanted her to answer some questions before I trust her with that money. Maybe I was lying. After all, how can you trust someone who you know is a scam? Because I was still wishing and hoping. That’s how strong these scams are. You know they are a lie, but you keep wishing they might be true. I asked her for her address, her phone number, and her religion. She never answered my questions. I even asked her why she couldn’t use her own credit card. Doesn’t everybody, especially travelers, have a credit card? No answers. She stopped writing to me. And that’s what hurts the most. You miss those letters, and you miss those photographs that she use to send you everyday.
I did not send her any money.
Both these women wrote and said they were going to marry me.
I have done a little research into these Russian bride scam artists. The most disturbing thing about them is that they are all men. It is men who are sending out these love letters supposedly from beautiful lonely Russian women. It is men who are telling you they love you. It is men who read your love letters that tell them you love them. They are all men.
If there is a real woman behind those letters who wants to come to America, she is most likely to pick a man who is her own age with a good income and who is the best looking guy of the whole bunch. If you’re like me, that’s not you.
michaelskok.com web site
In April or May 2016, I took off the words "For President" on my Home page. I agree with most of Donald Trump's goals for America to make America great again. I do not wish to be considered an opponent of Mr. Trump by running as a write-in candidate. I was thinking of running for some other political office in the future, but so far, I have no definitive plans.
July 28, 2016 Thursday. I made a promise that I would devote at least 5 minutes to my web site each and every day. I have been neglectful of this promise. I wish to rededicate myself to this promise. There is a lot of work that I wish to do. There’s still the part about the crucifixion of Jesus that I haven’t finished. There’s the End of the World section that is far from finish. I wish to add more sections to my site. I would like to add more information about the Armstrongs. I want to tell about what it will be like during Jesus’ one thousand year reign. There’s a lot that has happened this month that I would like to comment about. I apologize for my lack of zeal.
“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Be zealous, therefore, and repent,” (Revelations 3:19), says the Lord Jesus to us modern Christians, the Church of Laodicea.
September 8, 2016 Thursday. I missed two days of not posting anything to my web site. I’ve been distracted most of the time. This is one my greatest fears. Jesus told a parable that’s in two of the gospels about the sower who sowed seeds on the ground (Matthew 13:3-9; Luke 8:5-8). “A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell by the way side, and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it. And some fell upon a rock. And as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away because it lacked moisture. And some fell among thorns. And the thorns sprang up with and choked it. And other fell on good ground and sprang up and bare fruit an hundredfold.” And when he had said these things, he cried, “He that has ears to hear let him hear.” Jesus explained the meaning of the parable. He said, “Those by the way side are they that hear. Then comes the devil and takes away the word out of their hearts lest they should believe and be saved. They on the rock are those which when they hear receive the word with joy, and these have no root, which for a while believe and in time of temptation fall away. And that which fell among thorns are they which when they have heard go forth and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life and bring no fruit to perfection. And the other fell on good ground and sprang up and bare fruit an hundredfold.“ The one that I think is me is the seed that fell among thorns but are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life. I think most of us in modern America fall into that category.
I’ve been working on my web site late at night. That’s when I start getting sleepy and can’t think very clearly. So from now on I will try to start working on my web site earlier in the day. (May 19, 2017) I still do all my publishing around midnight.
In his farewell address, George Washington confessed that he may have made quit a number of unintentional errors. He said.
Though, in reviewing the incidents of my administration, I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors.
I, too, like all of us, have committed many errors. Many of them still give me pain when I bring them to mind.